The Truth About Being 'Wedding Body Ready'

Okay, this is one is pretty serious and very close to my heart. For context, I am, just going to say that I hate the term ‘body ready’, but I thought it would be the best way for people to connect with this article, as this is a phrase which is so commonly used in today’s media.

‘Body ready’ indicates that if we lose enough weight, tone up or whatever you want to call it, we will be ready for whatever event we are hoping to be ready for. As if our own acceptance at this event depends on being slim. Have you ever been to a party, or a wedding, where you have looked around and thought someone didn’t deserve to be there because they weren’t slim enough? I’m going to bet that the answer to that question is no. But yet we stress and stress and stress about losing a substantial amount of weight before a big event. To me, this quite clearly suggests that we have our priorities wrong.

Okay, I can accept the argument that people aspire to lose weight before an event because they want to look good in the photos, that may be seen by generations of family members. But come on, who really cares? I am certain I have never looked a picture and thought “My God! I really wish Aunty June had lost a stone before going to that wedding”. (I don’t have an Aunty June, nor do I have beliefs about someone’s value being represented by the size of their clothing). I couldn’t actually give less of a shit, and I’m sure you agree.

A good piece of advice my mother always gave me, was that if I’m being hard on myself in a situation I should consider what I would say to a friend in the same situation. Would I turn to my friend and tell them they did awfully on an exam, that they didn’t do well enough on that run, or they should have lost more weight for that wedding? No way would I! And I would be a horrible friend if I did.

With that in mind, should any of us think to ourselves, I have to lose weight for my wedding? I have to be in the best shape of my life? And my guests and my fiance will judge me if I don’t? Erm no. If your fiance or your friends are the type of people who would judge you for not being in the best shape of your life for your wedding, then you should 100% reconsider their place in your life. Unless they are concerned about your weight for health reasons then it is none of their business. And chances are the only reason that it bothers them is because they are insecure themselves. Nobody has the right to criticise your body and make you feel like you shouldn’t be the gorgeous size that you are. It shows that they only base your humanistic value on your appearance, and you owe it to yourself to find people who appreciate you for all that you are.

Family and friends aside, do you want to lose weight for your wedding for yourself? If the answer is still yes, then I would really urge you to stop for a minute and really think about why? Gaining or losing weight does not change your personality, unless you get so wrapped up in gaining or losing weight that it becomes all you think about. Fundamentally, changing your weight and size does not make you nicer, it doesn’t make you funnier, it doesn’t make you cleverer. You are the same wonderful person you always have been and no amount of changing your appearance will alter that. It is why someone loved you so much to propose to you in the first place.

If someone decided to make the huge decision to spend the rest of their life with you when you were one size then why do you think that you should lose weight for your wedding day. Because the only emotion that is going to bring to your partner is concern and confusion as to why you want to change yourself when they love you and accept you for who you are.

The only argument I can possibly accept when it comes to this issue is that you want to be healthier in general, and losing weight is a side effect of adopting a healthier lifestyle and habits. I can only applaud you for that because, as cliched as it is, health is our greatest wealth and your body is the one thing you will always have until the end. So you might as well look after it. If you were healthier before you met your partner and have since started eating less healthy foods, then by all means change your lifestyle to become healthier before your wedding. After all, you need to respect the relationship with yourself before you can fully commit in a marriage with someone else, and being healthy is a commendable way to do that. Just remember to continue these healthy habits after you have tied the knot.

Being healthy is a very different concept from abstaining from all food that is deemed ‘unhealthy’. Restricting food intake is not healthy and overtime can become part of a bigger problem. Balance is the only way to truly be healthy - and balance means eating protein, vegetable, carbohydrates and fat. Atkins is not healthy, juice diets are not healthy and any diets that cuts out carbs completely are not healthy. You will likely lose the weight that you want to lose by the time your wedding rocks around by following one of these diets, but afterwards you are going to gain it all back and more. What happens after your wedding? Your honeymoon. So you are going to bigger than you were at the time you got engaged, on your honeymoon. And that ain’t healthy. For your body or your self-esteem.

So what can you actually do to be body ready for your wedding? Accept that you already are. You have a body, thus you are body ready. Unless you have health problems that may have a negative impact on your wedding day, then please just find a dress that compliments the body that you have and rock it like no-one else could! If, on the other hand, you have a health problem that is affected by your weight, consult your doctor and have it addressed. If you need to lose weight as part of that problem then your doctor will advise you on the best and healthiest way to do that. But please remember that you are doing that for your health and not to ‘shape up’ or be ‘body ready’.

It is time that society realised that we are intelligent, powerful, wonderful women and a number stitched into the back of a dress cannot alter that for any of us. If my fiance wanted to marry a size 6 woman then I would tell him to go find her while I ordered another slice of cake. Which brings me onto another excellent point… If you’re on a diet for your wedding then you can’t enjoy the cake-tasting, and who really wants to miss out on that, huh?

Charlotte xoxox